Retribution and Regeneration

Let me make one thing clear, I am fully aware that I went against the wishes of the Doctor and it did cost him a regeneration but at least he is still alive.  The four of us- Jack, Rose, the Doctor and I were on the Gamestation facing Daleks and most likely death. Jack had gone to rally the troops, so to speak, while the Doctor put together a weapon that would kill every last  Dalek.  However, it was quickly becoming a suicide mission. When the Doctor checked the screen that indicated he didn't have time to modify the delta wave, his face fell. That is when I saw what he was planning to do. He proceeded to lie to Rose by telling her that he would use me to cross his own timeline.

"WHAT?!"

He tricked her into the console room and had her hold down a useless switch.  He started rattling off techno babble then ran back out to the station.

"You can't do this!" I shouted at him. "Please after everything we have been through."

Rose thought she was helping him by holding that stupid  button.  He stopped suddenly and slowly turned to face me.

"I'm sorry, Old Girl.  You have been a good friend but I can't let the Daleks capture and use you to create chaos across time.  Also, I promised to look after Rose."

"Please, come with us." I pleaded with him.

"You know I can't leave Earth here with the Daleks. This is the only way. Goodbye."

With that he raised his sonic screwdriver and activated Emergency Program One. My engines started up and I started fighting against it even though I knew it was useless.
I began crying out to my Time Lord, begging him not to send me away. I felt his mind slip away as I dematerialized. Rose started to panic and ran to get out of my doors.  As we enter the Vortex, the Doctor's hologram appeared to give Rose the bad news.

"I won't let you do this to me" she said aloud, her words echoing my thoughts.  

She was angry and heartbroken which my feelings mirrored but were magnified a hundred fold. She began yelling at me while trying every knob and switch on my console.

"Take me back!"  she screamed at me, not realizing that I could hear her.

"If I could, I would do it."

I landed on Earth right where the Doctor wanted which that hardly ever happens.   Rose walked out my doors and was met by her boyfriend who tried to comfort her.  I was left to comfort myself.  I was always prepared to die along side my Time Lord.  I never imagined I would be left to slowly fade away separated from him.  

I have opened my own console and revealed the Time Vortex before when I was about to ripped apart at the Rift.  I was only able to do it because the Doctor was there to help me telepathically. Rose was a clever and I had hoped that my mental nudges were having the desired effect.  By the time Jackie arrived with that big yellow truck, I felt there was a possibility I could save my Time Lord.  It took great effort on my part but when my console finally broke open, I leaped at the chance and channeled not only the Time Vortex but also a part of my mind into Rose's.  I slammed my doors shut when I saw Mickey running towards me.  No one was going to stop me. I dematerialized into the Vortex heading back to the Gamestation. Rose felt me inside her head and welcomed it.   As I materialized, the first thing I heard was the Doctor's mind.

"But that's impossible!"  He exclaimed mentally as he fell back in shock.  

The Daleks alerted their emperor of my presence.  I threw open my doors and carried Rose out to the feet of the Doctor.  He immediately demanded an explanation from me.  

"What have you done?!"

Rose took it upon herself to answer for both of us.  She had some idea of what had just happened to her but the Doctor knew that Rose didn't fully understand the danger.

"You looked into the Time Vortex.  Rose, no one is meant to see that."  

The Dalek Emperor recognized that the soul of a TARDIS was inhabiting the human girl.  

"This is the abomination!"   

When I heard one of the Daleks scream-exterminate,  I immediately took complete control and stopped the laser from hurting her.  I explained to my Time Lord who I was now.  

"I am the Bad Wolf.  I create myself.  I take the words….I scatter them in Time and Space.  A message to lead myself here."   

He started  pleading with Rose to let go because he knew I was not going to leave him.  I turned and looked at the Time Lord who I had traveled with for hundreds of years.

"I want you safe.  My Doctor…. protected from the false god."  

He was stunned at my statement.  The Dalek Emperor addressed me and boasted that he was immortal. This only fueled my anger of losing everything in the Last Great Time War.  I wasn't about to give the Daleks another chance to destroy so I made the decision.

"You are tiny.  I can see the whole of time and space.  Every single atom of your existence and I divide them.  Everything must come to dust….all things.   Everything dies.  The time will end."

I left the Dalek Emperor last to be destroyed, finally feeling a sense of victory since that fateful moment when Gallifrey burned.  The Doctor knew he had to convince Rose to assert some control if there was any hope of stopping me.  He demanded I let her go so I withdrew allowing her full control again.  Then I saw what she was thinking and before I could stop her, she brought the Captain back to life…..forever.

"But this is WRONG!" exclaimed the Doctor.

I could feel her mind beginning to break under the pressure of the Time Vortex. The Doctor saw her mind burning and decided to take the Vortex from her.   With the small act of affection, the power transferred from the human to the Time Lord.  For a short time, I was literally in the Doctor's mind.  I joined my song with his before he returned the Time Vortex and me back to our proper places.  I quietly close my doors while the Doctor quickly made some adjustments to the controls of the station.  When the Doctor picked up Rose, I opened my doors and watched silently as he laid her down near my console. Jack was heading toward us and neither the Doctor nor I could bear it so he set me into the Vortex.  As the Doctor stood at my console,  I knew he was going to regenerate and I felt guilty.

"I'm sorry."  

I waited for him to launch into a tirade about putting this companion's life in danger or at least lecture me about how many Laws of Time I had broken.  He broke the silence after a few minutes.  

"Thank you, TARDIS.   You were only doing what I would had done if our places were reversed."   

"Anything for you, Doctor."  

"Yes, I know but right now my concern is that girl lying on your floor."  

"I think she is regaining consciousness."  

It was then I realized that the Doctor was not fully aware that he would have to regenerate.  The girl awoke confused and tried to get her bearings.  

"What happen?"

"Don't you remember?"  

"It's like…..there was…uh….singing."  

"That's right.  I sang a song and the Daleks ran away."  

As Rose tried to piece together what had happen, the Doctor finally caught the first glimpse that he was close to regenerating.

"You already knew, didn't you…TARDIS?"

"Yes, Doctor.  Again, I am sorry."  

"Just help her from panicking once it happens.  I'm going to try to prepare her but I don't have much time.  I can feel it already."  

I began to prepare and brace myself for his impending regeneration.  It's never an easy process but I hoped this time wouldn't  be too bad.  He tried to explain to Rose what was about to happen but her mind was still reeling from the Time Vortex to the point that even I was having trouble reading her thoughts.  As the Doctor bursts into the regeneration cycle, I tried to calm Rose's mind.  She and I were both stunned at the new person. Rose thought the Doctor had been taken away while I couldn't believe he had such great hair.  This new incarnation of my Time Lord immediately launched into moving onwards and upwards.

"Hello….okay."  He stopped suddenly to comment on one of the many changes with this new body.   

"New teeth, that's weird.  So where was I?"  he asked me.

"Dogs with no noses?"

"Oh that's right!  Barcelona!"  

I felt this might be the smoothest transition of all his regenerations.  He turned to my console and began entering coordinates like nothing had happen.

"6:00pm Tuesday, October, 5006. On the way to Barcelona."   

He turned to Rose to get her assessment of this new body.  He knew better than to ask me because I am not always  forthcoming with an honest opinion.  The last thing any TARDIS wants to do with a new regenerated Time Lord is give him a complex about his new body.

"Now then, what do I look like?  No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no…no, don't tell me."  

He started taking full inventory of this new body and commenting to me which I knew was his way of trying to coax an opinion from me.  

"Lets see….two legs, two arms, two hands.  Slight weakness in the dorsal tubercle. Hair!  I'm not bald.  Ooh, ooh, big hair.  Sideburns!  I got sideburns or really bad skin.  A little bit thinner, that's weird.  Give me time, I'll get use to it.  I have got a mole. I can feel it. Between the shoulder blades there's a mole.  That's alright….love the mole!"

"Doctor, it's not going to work this time."  

"Go on and tell me.  What do you think?"   

Rose was not convinced that this man standing before her was indeed the same person she had just spent all this time traveling.  She put up a brave front and listed out all the aliens she had encountered.

"Slitheen?  Doctor, she's not handling this very well.  I think we should take her home."

"TARDIS, just let me try and show her that even though I look different, I am the same Time Lord who she met in Henricks."  

He continued to try to convince her but when she asked if he could change back, he decided maybe going home would be in her best interests.  Familiar surroundings might help in this case.  He changed my coordinates and I reversed course back to Earth.  Since I knew we would be arriving soon on Earth, I turned my attention to other issues.  Suddenly, I felt a rush of excess Artron energy overload the neurons of the Doctor's mind.  I was caught off guard and found my own mind spinning.  My telepathic circuits began to burn out causing problems with the Doctor's speech.  

"Doctor?!"  I immediately increased my field around the Doctor but it was having no effect.

"Uh-oh."  

"Are you all right?"  

I wanted to tell her that he was far from being all right.  This was not going to be an easy regeneration after all.  

"Doctor, expel the excess energy! That might help."

"What's that?" Rose asked as the Artron energy floated near her.  

"Oh, the change is going a bit wrong.  I'm all..full….of…"

He doubled over as another rush hit his mind which again affected me too.  I sensed the Doctor's synapses were misfiring at an alarming rate in his brain and I became worried of the outcome.  

"Look, maybe we should go back.  Let's go and find Captain Jack.  He'll know what to do."  

"NO! Doctor, I can't handle being near him! You have to make an excuse."  

"Ah, he's busy.  He's got plenty to do rebuilding the Earth."

A certain switch caught his eye, triggering a memory from long ago when we were trying to outrun another Timeship.  

"I haven't used this one in years." He flipped the switch absentmindedly.

If I had known he was going to do that, I could have prepared for the sudden influx of power.  As it was, I almost lost control when the energy burst reached my engine core. Both the Rose and I reacted with the same question.   

"What are you doing?!"   

"Putting a bit of speed, that's it."  

I tried to calm his mind which proved unsuccessful so I began pleading with him. I'd hope I could make him see that his actions were placing all of us in grave danger.

NO! Doctor, please stop!  You aren't thinking clearly."  

"My beautiful ship, come on.  Faster, atta girl."

He opened up my engines more but I was not able to handle the increased energy flow. As I picked up speed, I struggled to maintain control in the Vortex.

What do you think? Faster?  Do you wanna break the time limit?"

"No….please stop this now!"

He released a safety valve sending me into a uncontrolled flight pattern.  Again, Rose and I reacted with the same words.

"STOP IT!"  

However, the Doctor was not hearing any of it.

"Ah, don't be so dull.  Let's have a bit of fun. Let's rip through that Vortex."   

I decided that I would have to do something drastic.  I forced my way into his mind, pushing past all his mental barriers to try and reach a rational part. I found a small area that had not been affected and started to communicate with him.

"Listen to me  Doctor, you have to stop this!"  

For a few seconds, he was able to see clearly.  

"The regeneration has gone a bit wrong. I can't stop myself."  

When the last wave of Artron energy washed over his mind, it essentially hurled me out of his mind.

"Oh, my head!" he groaned but then suddenly stood with a crazed look on his face.

"Faster!  Let's open those engines all the way."

I knew if he did that, I would not make it to Earth.  I would more than likely crash out of the Vortex and none of us would survive.  This triggered both my Cloister Bell and level 5 alarm which Rose had never heard before.

"What's that?"

"We're gonna crash land."  He said nonchalantly.

"Well, then do something!"  

"Too late!  Out of control!  I love it!"   He began to laugh manically.

"You're gonna kill us!"  Rose yelled at him.  

"Hold on tight, here we go! Christmas Eve."

I did crash through the Vortex but I was relieved it happened close to my set coordinates.   I hope next Time the Doctor regenerates, it won't be as terrifying.    

Suddenly, I hear other minds whispering words I am not meant to hear.